Yeah, but will she fuck you like a man?

Hello there Lovers,

And a happy weekend to you all. Are we drinking tonight? Or still recovering from last night? 😉 I’m in full recovery mode myself, but as I’m trying to get in shape for a certain sex party (details soon) I’m snacking on carrots. (Granted, the amount of dip I’m spooning out with them is slightly above the recommended average daily intake for a large family, but hey I’m getting the vegies in and that’s what counts!) Last night was very interesting actually. I had quite the epiphany at the end of the night.

There we were, knocking back the good stuff and having a laugh. It hit around midnight and my seventh drink and I decided I needed a pash. No numbers, no take me home, just tongue in face. Now. Well, you can imagine my surprise when in a packed bar, I could find no candidates. I did the obligatory two laps and then deployed the old lean and glance, but either the boys  were already with their girlfriends, they weren’t to my liking or they weren’t interested in my L and G. I looked around, smiling, looking breezy and friendly, completely open for the approach without being needy. But none came. I went to the bar and started chatting to a cutie next to me and he even bought me a drink. I’m in! I thought, but all he wanted was a kiss on the cheek!

What the actual fuck.

I thought maybe he wanted me to tag along to his table but he gave me the very firm “Have a good night.” which in the dating world is the equivalent of “If you take another step the restraining order will be filed.”

I went back to the leaning, and as I did I started to feel a cold feeling descend on me. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t putting out ‘desperate for love’ vibes, I just wanted a bit of fun. Was I so unattractive? So un-kissable?

I looked around the room with sad eyes, and watched the chatting up dance as it unfolded. What did these girls have that I didn’t? But the more I looked, the more I realised they had nothing on me. Sure they were attractive and knew how to apply a shitload of makeup, but were they like me? Would they not only be willing, but more than happy to dress up as a slutty maid and dust her boys balls? Would they hum Sweet Child of Mine as they sucked the lucky mans testicles, not because they had to but because it improves the sensation for him? Would they even think about manning up and throwing on a strap-on because their man has fantasies he wants to fulfill?

No. I don’t think so.

And that’s when it hit me. I am rare. I am a catch. And any boy lucky enough to be with me, be it for a minute, an hour or even forever, will know exactly how good he has it.

So I’ll let him find me. And all the boys who turn up their nose at me or shove me aside to get to the supermodel who can barely put food in her mouth let alone a penis, are just not for me. I nodded to myself, wonder-struck that I could have such a positive thought after so much beer. So I went to the bar, ordered another Black Russian and went back to my friends, confidant in the fact that I was special, and unique. And that the universe would send me a lovely guy with a big cock as soon as it sees fit.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you all about my very first pick up in a club. And I didn’t even mean too! Now that’s Murphy’s Law right there.

Happy weekend Lovers, and don’t forget to celebrate Sunday the way it should be celebrated. With multiple orgasms 🙂

Claire xx

Best Bonking Songs! – Your Man

By – Josh Turner

Best Used For – If you have to ask, you haven’t heard the song


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