Sex on the beach; not just a girlie cocktail!

Olah Lovers!

Apologies for my little hiatus peeps! I wish I could say it was because I was swamped with study, busy saving the world  or stuck under a gigantic pile of male strippers, but alas it’s because I spent most of the past week being a lazy ass and catching up on Bachelor re-runs. My bad Lovers! 😉 But hey, I’m back now and I’m very excited to fill you in on the rest of my night with Salvatore.

So, when I left you last time I had just humiliated myself by taking on the nearest door and losing. After quite some time spent sobbing into the casinos luxurious 4ply toilet paper I cleaned myself up and headed back onto the battlefield, hoping against hope that I could somehow find the video footage of my faux pas and secretly destroy it before it found it’s way onto Funniest Home Video’s.

I sauntered back into the bar with as much grace as I could muster, mindful to go very much through the door instead of the wall this time. I pasted a smile onto my face (wincing as the movement sent pain lancing through my nose) and sat back down at our recently vacated table.

“Are you ok?” asked Salvatore.

Oh shit of shit’s, he saw!

“Who me?” I asked coyly, desperately trying to hide my shame “Couldn’t be better actually.”

“Oh good, because the boys saw you run out the door crying. I thought I was a really bad kisser or something.”


Oh my god, lady luck must be seriously looking over me tonight! He hadn’t seen my showdown with the door! Happy days! Because he hadn’t seen I felt absolutely fine to tell Salvatore exactly what had happened. I didn’t care if he knew about it, hell I enjoyed the sympathy; I just hated the thought of him actually witnessing my ass bouncing along the concrete.

After that the night went by in a blur of beer and bruised ego’s. Ok, maybe just ego, plural; namely mine.

I do remember vividly the moment Salvatore asked if I wanted to get out of there with him. It was absolutely perfect timing. At the casino every hour on the hour these massive pillars light up spectacularly with flames all over them. It’s quite the show. So when they burst into life just as Salvatore popped the question it was clearly a sign from above. I’ll probably never forget the visual, him standing there, hand outstretched, the scorching heat from the flames blowing his hair softly (yeah we might have been standing a little too close at that point) and my equally flaming libido leaping from my juice-box to my fun bags, making my nips stand to rigid attention even though I was anything but cold.

Sigh, just magical.

So of course I said yes. If heaven sends you an angel, you don’t turn him down, especially if that angel wants to fuck you. I must give credit to Homie however, damn that girl can scare a man! Within minutes she had everything from his phone number to his condom preference logged away into her phone. I could definitely feel safe knowing that if Salvatore chopped me up and stuffed me into a pinyata, Homie would know exactly where to find him.

So with a fond farewell to Homie and her man, Salvatore and I ran off into the night. Well, we ran to the car anyways. I jumped in and we zoomed off to his house, stopping for wine on the way home. (Very romantic eh?)

As we got closer to his house however, I noticed we were close to the beach.

I bloody love the beach!

Especially at night. I don’t know what it is about a deserted beach at night but it’s got to be one of the most romantic settings known to man. So of course I told Salvatore to pull over post haste. I burst out of the car and ran down to the shore, expecting to feel that awesome beach sand between my toes. But that was not what I got…

Frigging rocks as far as the eye could see! I turned around and raised an eyebrow at Salvatore. Kilometers of beachfront and he pulled up at the rocky mountains? Epic fail.

But no, it was still a beautifully calm night; fucking freezing, but beautifully calm. I pulled my jacket down so it covered my ass and sat down on one of the salt slicked rocks, beckoning Salvatore to join me. He was certainly hesitant, but I can be very persuasive 😉

So long story short Salvatore got a lovely blowjob on the rocks overlooking the bay on a calm winters night. If that doesn’t spell romance I don’t know what does!

After Salvi had shot his load… well everywhere, we brushed off and headed back to the car. I was a touch disappointed as I had wanted to stay but he was getting cold. I suppose that happens when your pants are around your ankles the whole time tehe.

About five minutes later we pulled up at Salvatore’s house and I was overjoyed to see he lived right on the beach! Yes! Round two! We carried the wine inside, intending to have a glass or two before heading down to the beach. What I didn’t expect was to run straight into his mother.

Holy shitballs that was unexpected!

I was speechless. It was two thirty in the morning and there’s this woman perched at the kitchen table with her kindle! I know Fifty Shades can be a page turner, but two in the morning? Come on! Then of course once I’d got over the shock there was the awkward conversation. The whole “Hello, lovely to meet you,” and all that nonsense, when what we were both thinking was “Hello, lovely to meet you, I’m here to bang your son, please retire soon or you’ll hear the whole thing.”

After she scampered away to her bedroom, I definitely needed a glass of the good stuff to regain my nerves. Turned out Salvatore lived by himself but his Mum had moved in a little while ago due to some family stuff or something of that nature. I don’t really know the details as I wasn’t really keen on discussing his mother when I could see his boner.

After a few glasses I suggested a little field trip to the beach again. Salvatore picked up his wine and off we went. As we traversed the steps down to the beach luck struck again. I looked away for a second before hearing a smash, a swear word or three and Salvatore on his ass looking dazed.

The silly bugger had fallen down the stairs! Bahahaha!

Oh god I couldn’t stop laughing, just the sight of him standing there dolefully looking at his smashed wine glass and rubbing his butt made me double over. It felt so nice to know that we were both uncoordinated morons. It was at that moment that a feeling of complete abandon and happiness overtook me. I flew past him and down onto the beach, hooting with laughter as I went. The tide was out and there were small sand islands dotted throughout the water. I dashed through the water to the nearest one, urging Salvatore to follow me.

And follow me he did. When he caught up with me I lunged at him and engulfed him in a kiss. Oh what a feeling! With the sand between my toes and a man between my lips I could do anything! I pushed him away and pranced back to the beach, whipping off my clothes as I did.

“Come and get me!” I cried, wild with beer, beach and of course a bucketful of lust.

Salvatore was beside me in a second, returning my very ardent advances.

“Let’s go home and have a shower.” he whispered in my ear, before sucking my earlobe with delicious efficiency. But I had other plans.

In a second I whipped off my bra and clapped his hands over the twins. I felt his appreciation for this offering in the small of my back. The boy was ready, that was for sure. I turned around and pushed him away again before falling onto all fours on the sand. I languorously started to crawl towards him, a feline predator stalking her very sexy prey. I made extra sure to showcase my butt as I’ve heard it looks quite nice in the moonlight. I gave him a full moon that was for sure. Then I was at his waist, yanking his pants down and warming him up in my own very special way.

He gasped in excitement and before I could do much he grabbed my shoulders and flipped me onto my back with a squeal. (I squealed, not him, that would be most unmanly.) Somehow he’d managed to position me on our jackets so there was no sand/coochie mix ups. Plus the sand we were on was damp so there was no chance of fly-ups. Yay for not having to worry about sand based infections!

Salvatore knelt over me and within a second was going for a home run.

“Ooh you’re so tight!” he moaned

Yes! I thought, that is so much better to hear as opposed to “Oh yeah, loosey goosey baby!”

Although really, all that was going through my head was something like OH MY GOD! I’M FINALLY HAVING SEX! AND ON A BEACH! THIS ROCKS!

Needless to say I enjoyed it. Salvatore was not super well endowed but he certainly made up for it with enthusiasm. My only disappointment was that it didn’t last quite as long as I had hoped. So when said man in question came (all over my stomach) I made a pact with myself that I wasn’t sleeping until I got more.

After wiping down (with his shirt of course, a lady never uses her own garments) I was ready for round two. I frolicked back over to the little sand island, loudly proclaiming how I wanted to claim this land in the name of sex. My partner in crime was not so keen however and was starting to shiver.

Honestly, men are such babies.

I grudgingly let him drag me back to his house on the promise of a nice hot shower. Anything can happen in a shower after all!

As soon as the water was hot enough I dropped my daks and jumped in, eager to resume play time. I lathered him up real nice with some poncy shower gel and then gave him a good scrub down. Ooh yeah, sexy shower minx is my middle name (far too long to put on a birth certificate though, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.) Then it was time for another well timed hand job. And I tell you Lovers, there’s nothing better for a hand job than a few beers. I was amazing! Normally I get so frustrated at myself for losing that super fast rhythm, because of course once you lose your groove, so do they. But damn I was fast that night! My hand was a blur! And not only was I working the wang, but I was rocking the balls at the same time! No easy feat I must say. Hard and fast on one and soft and fast on the other. If you get the two mixed up your man’s in some serious bruised ball trouble. I was a machine! Luckily Salvatore decided to return the favour by bending me over in the shower for a good rogering.

Very nice.

It was only after all this had happened that I realised the shower was right next to his Mum’s room.


I scuttled off to Salvatore’s bedroom (which was thankfully at the other end of the apartment) and slid into bed. He followed a few minutes later with a glass of water to die for. Whoever thought of water gets a big tick in my book! Thanks… God?

After glugging down a few litres of the tasty clear stuff there was just enough time for one more round. It was quite a novelty doing it in bed by that point. Although having one of Salvatore’s dog jump up and join in the action at one point did certainly make it memorable.

After Salvi collapsed on top of me once more I had just enough time to thank him for the sex before falling into a deep sleep.

The next morning I woke up to a pounding head, a battered nose and a rather cute dog licking my face. I giggled and gently pushed the little dude away before sitting up to assess the damage. Salvatore had a floor to ceiling mirror on his cupboard next to the bed so I got a close up view of the mess that was Claire. Straggled, knotted hair, bruised nose and no clothes to speak of.


I groaned and sank back onto my pillow, my head protesting the entire time. How hard did I hit that fucking glass? I didn’t have much time to dwell on that though as soon after old Salvi woke up. I figured, hey I’m here, may as well, and that’s how we ended up having sex whilst I watched, fascinated, in the mirror. Turns out sex can look quite nice from the right angle. Then again other angles can rival the visual of plucking chickens.

Not so sexy.

So after the final tryst it was time to head home. Salvatore offered to drive me home (thank god). Sadly I completely forgot about his Mum, so when I stumbled into the lounge room half dressed, it was quite the awkward moment. Needless to say I don’t think we’ll be on each others Christmas card list.

After dropping me home Salvi grabbed my number with a promise of another catchup. I smiled, gave him a quick kiss and hopped out. Even if we didn’t catch up again, he had given me such a great night that I would always think fondly of him. So it was with a smile and a bounce in my slightly chafey step that I climbed the stairs to my apartment, listening as his car pulled away, before ripping off my sandy clothes, falling into bed and drifting into a dreamless sleep.

Ah what a night!

If I could get that every weekend I’d never need a new vibrator again!

A girl can dream eh?

Claire xx

Pick up line of the week: Hey, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?


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