Hello my Lovers!
And happy Kinkfest to you all! Yes that’s right Lovers, it’s that fantastic time of year when all the leather clad, corset bound, whip wielding kinksters congregate in one strictly over 18 establishment and celebrate all that is fetish!
Ah what a day it was Lovers, I wish you all could have been there with me! But, as not all of you live in the same city or even country as me and the hall was only equipped to squeeze in a few hundred people at a time I shall do my civic duty and recount the day to you in all it’s latex lined glory!
Alrightey then, I’ll begin as I sauntered through the ticket stalls out the front of the expo. As soon as I passed through those gates I felt a frisson of energy electrocute the air (yeah, you know it’s serious stuff when I start talking in frissons!) The atmosphere changed instantly, and as I was handed my Durex goodie bag full of freebies I could barely contain my excitement. I looked up above me to the smoking balcony and saw a gaggle of eclectically dressed kinksters casually dragging on cigarettes, vaporisers and from the smell that was wafting down, quite a few ‘naughty’ smokes 😉 I smiled to myself and stepped into the building, where it then became quite the skill to wade through the crowd without accidentally brushing someone’s gas mask or nipple clamps. Many a ‘sorry!’ and ‘my bad!’s were exchanged that day I can assure you.
I arrived at the first set of stalls and was immediately struck by the latest thing.
Metal everything it seemed. Metal buttplugs, metal catheters, metal collars, metal cock rings. Ball stretchers, chastity belts, (male and female) anal hooks, spreader bars and of course the ever popular urethra plugs. (For those who don’t know they’re basically a set of smooth metal rods that you insert into the lucky man’s pee hole. Google it if you’re bored.) Plastic was out and metal was in baby! I walked past what appeared to be a do it yourself pap-smear stall, complete with a metal (of course) speculum (basically the jaws of life for your juice box.) Not really my cup of tea but hey, whatever floats your boat, plus they were on special so were selling like hotcakes. Moving on through the stalls I purchased a super cute necklace with handcuffs and a dog tag that had “OWNED” hanging off it and carried on through to the erotic novel section.
I was greeted by a cheery sixty something year old woman, happily spruiking her new book, a detailed memoir of her sexual adventures and awakenings over the past few months. I was intrigued, and very nearly bought a copy (signed by the author too, surely that increases the value, right?) but was distracted by the cracking sound of a whip nearby. I made my apologies to sixty something, promising to be back soon, and made my way towards the sound, drawn like a moth to a latex fueled flame.
Just what I had been hoping for! I pulled up in front of a stall selling all sorts of whips, floggers, paddles, canes and other pleasurably painful instruments and watched as the stall holder artfully demonstrated just how much of a dent you could make in someone’s ass cheek with a simple flick of the wrist.
I smiled shyly at him and instead asked his much safer looking assistant for advice on which implement to begin my BDSM journey with. She recommended a flogger, just what I’d been thinking of getting. We were totally on the same page. First I had to get sized up however. (I know, how hard is it to choose a whip right? But no, it’s quite technical actually.) To get the correct sized flogger for a beginner, you should place the handle up against your middle finger and then pull the strands up your arm. If the strands reach past your underarm, the flogger is too big for you. Great advice eh? After picking out a very nice purple number with fairly soft strands (no need to go hard leather straight away!) she then advised me to coat the ends in baby powder, prop a black pillow up against the wall or a chair and then commence to giving it a bloody good flogging. This way you can get a feel for the length of it and how hard or soft you should be hitting. Thank you Kinkfest! Fun and educational.
Just to be sure I had all the right information I bought several BDSM handbooks on how to spank, how to play nice and naughty and how to become a sub or dom. Talk about some exciting reading!
Moving on through the now even tighter packed crowd I passed into the fashion section of the expo. Turns out I was wrong, plastic was still definitely a major player! I perused the morph suits, through to the fetish masks then on to the bondage harnesses and of course corsets, corsets, corsets! I’d been to the ladies earlier and had been confronted by a gaggle of women squeezing themselves so tightly into the metal boned corsets their waists were the size of doughnuts and their breasts were fit to pop, so it was no suprise the fashion stalls were doing a roaring trade. Truth be told I would have been right in there with them if my bank account wasn’t creeping towards the edge and threatening to leap off the bridge at that very moment.
After having a quick peruse through the toy section and finding all the regular culprits I decided it was time to call it a day. And what a day it was! I think the thing I loved most was it was exactly the same vibe as the Saints and Sinners ball. Everyone was free to be whoever or whatever they wanted to be with absolutely no judgement. I didn’t see a single squeamish person or giggly teenager trying to take a photo of something they thought was embarrassing or gross to show their friends later. It was just a bunch of really cool people coming together to celebrate something we all appreciated. I was even advised by many stall holders to join the scene on fetlife.com, a community of kinksters where everyone can connect and chat online. I now have several flyers for lunches, dinners, meet ups and seminars coming up in the near future that I’m so excited to try out. The world of BDSM shall remain veiled to me no longer!
P.s next time I’ll let you all know of my very first foray into the kink world. Very pg rated people, only involved a riding crop, candle wax and four scarves 🙂
Pick up line of the week: A good one to use at bars here.
Heya, you put the ‘hot ass’ in my shot glass!