Blow Job or Blow Out?

Buenas Dias Lovers!

And a happy hump day to you all! So now that we’ve all taken a breath and recovered from the asshole that was last weeks post, it’s time to move onto a different kind of asshole… The literal one. And for once, it’s not me shitting my pants but somebody else! Hurrah!

So, last time we left it just after the first kiss and the parking fine didn’t we? Ok, lets carry on Lovers 🙂

I visited Callum at his place two days later. It was lovely. We went for a walk and a talk and a pash and all three vastly improved since our last date. It was getting late when we arrived back to his place and Callum had to start getting ready for work at the club.

“I really don’t feel like working tonight though.” he groaned.

“So don’t.” I quipped “Stay here with me and we’ll have pizza and beer and play naughty drinking games.”

Safe to say he didn’t attend work that night.

The next day we were woken by the sound of Callum’s mobile ringing. He peeled one hand off my boob and reached for it, the other hand staying firmly glued to my butt.

“Hello?” he mumbled sleepily. Whatever the person on the phone said next certainly woke him up quick smart.

“What?” he cried “Why?” He paused to listen and I tried to squish closer so I could hear a little of the conversation.

“It was just once for Christ’s sake.” He blurted out, before sighing and saying “Fine. Whatever. Bye.”

He slammed the phone down so hard on the bed I was almost double bounced off it.

“Who was that?” I asked gently

“Work.” He replied gruffly “I won’t be getting anymore shifts because of last night.”

“Oh.” I said quietly, guilt sweeping over me instantly. “Can you get another bar job do you think?”

“Nah fuck em.” Callum said abruptly “I don’t need that job anyway, I’ve still got the service station job. It’s fine.”

“Um, ok.” I had no idea what to say. After all, it was kind of my fault he’d lost his job.

Suddenly I had a brilliant idea. I couldn’t get him another job sure, but I could certainly give him a type of job he hadn’t gotten from me yet. Yes, a good blow job could solve almost anything. It had certainly worked in Rick’s case, that was for certain.

I took a second to psyche myself up, and then I rolled onto him.

His reaction was not what I was expecting at all.

Callum let out a whoosh of air like a one ton elephant and it’s shopping had landed on him.

Ouch.

“You ok?” I asked, sucking in my tummy and supporting myself on my elbows to keep from crushing his apparently super fragile frame.

“I just, I need to, umm give me a second.” And with that he ran from the room.

My jaw hung open as I watched him sprint out the door.

Keh?

What had just happened? I took quick stock of myself to see if anything had changed. Nope, my boobs hadn’t swelled to enormous size and almost crushed him. My bellybutton was lint free and wasn’t oozing any type of hazardous material, and my fingernails were still the bitten off stumps they had always been, with no risk of impaling or skewering in sight.

So what had made him run?

I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them, parting them quickly to take a quick sniff of downstairs just in case I was packing any chancy aromas.

But nothing!

I can tell you now the old self esteem took quite the beating at that moment. It wasn’t until I heard the strange sounds coming from the bathroom that I started to realise it may not have been me.

I slowly got out of bed and crept towards the closed bathroom door.

“Callum?” I said softly as I knocked timidly on the door “Is…Is everything ok in there?”

“Fine!” he shouted a little too quickly. And then I heard the unmistakable sound of someone who’s just had a really bad kebab. And isn’t expressing it with their mouth.

I stifled a giggle and ran back to the bedroom.

Thank god! He just had the runs! I’d simply triggered a chain reaction by jumping on him. Whoops. Still I must say it was quite the relief to hear the gross sounds coming from the bathroom and knowing that I had pretty much nothing to do with it.

Eventually Callum emerged, freshly showered (thank goodness) and lay down on the bed with a plop, (pun intended)

“Feel any better?” I asked

“Not really,” he replied “I knew I shouldn’t have had that old milk.”

I opened my mouth to chastise hime but I didn’t get the chance as Callum was on the run once again.

I shook my head at the stupidity of boys and got dressed before heading down to the chemist.

After some awkward unwanted advice from the pharmacist about how to insert a rectal thermometer, (we weren’t even official yet lady! I think I’ll stick to the oral thermometres at the moment thank you!) I returned home with some pills to plug my boy up.

There was no blow job that day, but I felt we had grown closer as a couple. After all, it’s not every day the person you like almost shit’s his own bed.

My gloating was to be short lived however, as barely a week later the situations were reversed.

Luckily for me my issues were much more mouth to toilet rather than ass in shower.

Claire xx

Pickup line of the week: We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.

(If anyone ever uses this and it works please god let me know! ;-))

 

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