Talk about unsafe sex!


Woah Lovers, what a Friday night I had!

That’s right Lovers, we’re going to take a teensy break from FORGS and focus on something that happened just the other night.

So what happened? I hear you ask with bated breath. Well it’s more a case of what didn’t happen, and how the not happening of it caused all sorts of other happenings to occur.

Confused yet? Me too, but don’t worry Lovers, we’ll get through it together!

So, Friday rolled around as usual, and although I was aware that yet another Saints and Sinners swingers ball was upon us, I was content in the fact that this month I would be sitting out the action.

Instead, I had the delightful prospect of a Friday night with Beet to look forward to.

Remember Beet? This was the guy I was most excited about second dating a few weeks ago. And oh my lord Lovers, the sex we had! It was incredible! Not only did I finally find my orgasm again, but it was just so connected and, I hate to say it… special.

Eww I think I’m catching feelings!

I thought maybe the first time was amazing because I was pretty tipsy, but after having amazingly orgasmic morning sex the next day, I knew I was on to something good. No, not good, great!

Phoar I just can’t get enough of him Lovers! Every time we have sex it’s like… so… you know… indescribable!

The best thing is I’m not alone in my opinion, Beet thinks the sex is pretty amazeballs as well.

So, happy days, right Lovers?


My only qualm with the boy is his delicious body (and mind, I’m not completely shallow) isn’t available often enough! Still, the waiting is what keeps it exciting I suppose. Nothing like a little anticipation to heighten the senses.

Anyways, as I said, I was looking forward to a quiet night of sexy time and party pies, (what more could a girl want) when I get a text from the man himself.

Turns out my quiet night of nakedness was not to be. I’d still be getting naked, but I’d be doing it in front of one thousand other people.

That’s right Lover’s, Beet had gone and bought us tickets to Saints and Sinners! And the best part? He bought mine as a birthday present!

How romantic!

I spent the remainder of the afternoon whipping around sex stores in the city trying to cobble together an outfit that was both goth/rocker/punk (the theme for the night) and also a decent amount of sexy.

Mission accomplished.

Beet came to my house before the party for some pre-drinks and pre-sex (no point going to a sex party without unleashing the turtle a few times first right?) and as usual we both came ferociously, gasping and laughing at the force of our orgasms.

After a few more beers and some last minute outfit changes, we were off.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I was nervous. This was the third time I’d been to S and S, I said to myself sternly, why on earth should I be nervous? Maybe it was the fact that we were meeting some of the FORGS gang at the party? No that couldn’t be it, I’d seen them all naked and more, what else did I need to know to implicitly trust and like them?

Then it hit me. Ah shit.


Fuck fuck fuck!

This was the reason I never went with people I actually cared about! How was I going to feel when Beet left me and headed off to join a sexy threesome? We weren’t anything. We weren’t dating, and from what I could gather Beet had no intentions of making me his ‘special gal,’ so why was I getting all riled up?

Gah, those goddam feelings.

Son of a bitch.

I took a deep breath and resolved to drink much wine and have much sex, starting with Beet. May was well get him started off with some good sex before he headed into the fray.

But that was certainly not what happened Lovers.

As soon as we entered I felt that now familiar thrill of being with ‘my people.’ Everything was out and free (quite literally in some cases) and everyone was smiling. I took Beet’s hand and led him on a tour of the venue, pointing out my favourite spots and activities as I did so. After the tour we grabbed a drink and headed onto the dance floor.

Beet’s eyes were bugging out of his head trying to take in all the sights and sounds he was being assaulted with.

I smiled mischievously and slid my hand down into his underwear.

Round two maybe? I think so.

Beet’s pork sword disagreed.

There was no movement at this particular station, so I figured it was time for a scene change.

I steered Beet toward the bean bag section, eager to relax him and help him get into the groove of the night.

But after several attempts at bean bag head, it was pretty obvious that Beet Junior was not feeling the vibe.

You may think I was disappointed at this point Lovers. You’re at a sex party, and he’s not having sex with you? Jipped! But actually my Lovelies, what we did instead was better.

Maybe it’s just my dodgy romantic side coming out, but instead of having crazy wild bean bag sex we talked, we fondled, we kissed, long and slow.

It was so nice Lovers!

Eventually we detached from each other long enough to change floors, and that’s when we bumped into the FORGS crew. Yay!

The night got even better from then on. It was so great to see them again, and of course everyone’s costumes were on point.

We headed to the dance floor and danced and danced and danced. There was much coupe swapping happening, but for some reason I didn’t take part. As I said before, Beet and I are not a couple, we aren’t dating, exclusive or anything of the sort, but when the offer came to make out with a few dudes… I just didn’t feel like it. The only person I wanted to kiss was Beet.

Urgh, how sad is that?

Then again, Beet didn’t make out with anyone either… Hmm, was he too nervous to pash someone? Or was he actually enjoying hanging out with me?

So confusing!

Anyways we carried on the dancing until the drag queen hosting the night kicked us off stage to start the best-dressed competition. And guess who jumped on stage?


Well, I say jumped on stage, he was sort of pushed, but still once he was up there he totally owned it. The contestants had to do a little dance on the pole to show off their outfits (or lack thereof) and my my my did Beet work that pole like a runaway!

I was so proud of him for getting up there and giving it a crack (not to mention showing a little crack at the same time.) He didn’t win, but I gave him a celebratory blowjob anyway.

It was the least I could do.

After his tryst on stage Beet felt ready to have a go in the Grope box. And you know what Lovers? So did I.

What an experience!

As soon as I jumped in about eight hands plunged through the holes to get at me. I giggled uncontrollably as the hands touched and stroked me everywhere. And I mean everywhere Lovers. There was one quite persistent hand who set up camp in the old nether regions, but I kept my legs firmly closed, so all he got was the front page.

A guy popped his head into the box and asked if I was ok, which was very sweet of him… The first two times. After that I was just like, dude, let a bitch get felt up in peace orright?

I didn’t say that, (manners people) but it was quite irritating. I got in this box myself, I can get out just as easily if I feel violated. Although really, why get in the box if you don’t want a little violation hey?

After eventually extricating myself from the hands Spud and I decided to go downstairs to the ‘orgy room’ and try out those beanbags again. After trying and failing to breathe life into his skin flute for a good twenty minutes, Beet pulled me up and gave me a kiss.

Then we did something I haven’t done since I was eighteen.

We had dry sex.

Oh I know it sounds very clinical when you say it like that, but my god, I forgot how much of a turn on a good old dry hump could be.

There we were, sat in the middle of a pile of naked, writhing bodies, the smell of latex condoms and Heineken thick in the air, and yet all I was focused on was Beet.

I was on top of him so it was me in control, grinding deliciously up and down against him. It didn’t matter if he was hard or not, we were both so turned on and into it that it felt like we were having sex anyway.

And the kissing! Ah, the amazing things a tongue can do! The whole experience reminded me of how great it can be to not have sex.

So it was safe to say that we’d sampled pretty much all of what the party had to offer. Beet was a little frustrated that he hadn’t been able to tick ‘having sex in public’ of his list, but he still said he had an amazing time. We left at around 3am, happy, tired and more than a little horny.

Imagine if we had of stayed just half an hour longer.

It’s a strange feeling Lovers, when a ‘secret’ sex party, becomes common knowledge. Oh sure, you tell your friends, your colleagues and occasionally your family if you want to freak them out, but you never really expect your sexual exploits to make it onto television.

That’s right Lovers, this month’s ball made the news. For all the wrong reasons.

Just half an hour after we left around thirty police stormed the club and shot a guy, while he was having sex with his woman! The details are still sketchy and there’s so much controversy surrounding the whole thing, but supposedly the cops got an anonymous tip off that a guy in the club had a gun. The police say when they yelled at the guy he pulled the gun and aimed it at them, but others say he was too busy having sex to do anything.

I don’t know what happened so I won’t comment on that but I do remember the girl. I only remember her because I admired her outfit many times throughout the night (she was dressed as Harley Quinn and her man was the Joker). I just feel so awful for her that a fun night out with her man ended in such a horrible manner. The worst part is, now her picture is splashed all over the tv and she’s known as a girl that goes to ‘those type of parties.’

Which of course there is nothing wrong with, but sadly society doesn’t see it this way. Already a few people I told have reacted negatively, saying things like, “well Claire, if you hang out with those type of people, dodgy things are going to happen.”

Urgh, people’s narrow-mindedness really shits me Lovers.

I for one, will not let things like this stop me from hanging out with these supposed ‘dodgy’ people, and neither should you.

I had to giggle at the news casters descriptions of what the couple were doing though. Some noted the couple were ‘initiating in intimate relations’ whilst others said they were ‘in a compromising position.’ Dear god people, they were having sex, it’s not a crime to say it!

Anyways Lovers, that’s me done for another post. I guess what I’ve learned from something like this happening is that events like these really are more special when only the ‘dodgy’ people know about them. The general public can’t wrap their minds around this ‘sex is fun’ concept, so for this reason, lets all take a lesson from Gandalf.

“Keep it secret! Keep it safe!”

Claire xx

P.S Just a thought. Earlier in the night there was a male strip show. They were dressed as Police… anybody think maybe the Joker thought it was all just a fun roleplay? “Ooh you got me guys, I’m not going down without a fight!”

That would totally suck if it was true.


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